Comments about his appearance, the “physical stuff,” have never bothered Woods. His looks have never been a huge part of his self-image: In high school he had a mini-mullet and wore a winter coat every day, but he was still voted homecoming king. (He qualifies this by explaining that the popular kids split the vote, leaving him as the dark-horse choice.) Woods’s features lend themselves to blunt poetry, and he delights in that. “I don’t think anyone is hiring me because I look like Chris Hemsworth,” he laughs. “I think if you look like one of these sort of generically hot CW stars, then that can be as limiting as looking like a ghost.” He good-naturedly rattles off some of the doppelgängers ascribed to him over the years: Ichabod Crane, the Slender Man, “Abraham Lincoln in an internment camp,” and Lurch. (“In a good way! Like young Lurch,” his girlfriend hurried to clarify.) He still remembers, verbatim, one of the first online comments he read about himself, before he self-excluded from the Internet: “His face looks like a combination of sadness and food poisoning.”

from Zach Woods in the Woods (Lauren Larson, GQ)